Let go, so let go...

>>I do find it a bit odd how many people are commenting here hoping to find the answer to the 'Where is Style Bytes?' mystery from myself and I know I'm probably contributing to the 'Where is she?!?' hype and furor by posting this but I did have some two cents to say...

From my initial post and ensuing posts from Lady Coveted and countless other blogs/forums etc, a discussion that sort of borders on being scarily stalkerish has resulted, involving Facebook/MySpace/Phiary (haven't a clue what the hell that is...) and even in-person tracking.  It seems from these sources that Agathe is perfectly well and alive and out and about.

However, her blog has now gone offline and from the error message, it seems that Agathe herself has purposely done that to actively take her blog down.  Which confirms what I suspected all along, and it is that Agathe, for some reason no longer wants to blog anymore and it is her decision not to give an explanation why. 

So I think if that is the case, then I'm just going to let her be.  Whilst I miss her posts dearly, I'm not about to hunt her down and demand WHY she isn't blogging anymore.  She isn't obliged to give any explanation.  If she started Style Bytes voluntarily, she has every right to take it down too.  I can't say it's something I'd do myself especially without an explanation but nonetheless, I respect her decision.    

I do silently ponder if I ever went AWOL for a month, what would happen but I'm guessing it wouldn't get to this stage of online social network hunting madness that's going on...

Comments

[kirstie]

i'm gutted! i'd only started reading her fairly recently too. sad...

[gilda]

don't abandon us susie!!! we need you! j/k. i can totally understand... but just send out a warning if you ever quit ok? well, at least i can give myself a mental preparation. :)

xox!

[Stephie]

well at least i'm glad I saved some of her outfits for inspiration! (:

and yes you will most definitely be stalked/hunted down somehow online... which is really pretty freaky if we all stop to think about it.

I hope she's back soon (:

[evie]

don't be silly. of course there'll be a major search for you - whether at social networking sites or even forums. i'm glad you'd warn us if you were to ever quit. you're one of the first few fash blogs i started reading so it would be a bit odd not reading yours anymore. you'd certainly be missed :)

[Drusilla]

I wondered what happened to her too, and I'm really sad she's off the blogosphere now, but if that was what she decided was good for her, who are we to say otherwise? Blogging is something you should only do if you love it- and if she got fed up, she was right to quit. (incidentally, what is it with fash blogs shutting down this year- Mrs Fashion's isn't open to view and LLG quit hers for her job..sad, but if they thought it was necessary it's ok)

And as for you, if you ever stopped blogging I think I'd cry (even worse if you took the site down). And there WILL be an Internet manhunt (bloggerhunt?) if you don't leave us a note. But at the end of the day, Style Bubble is yours to write or not write, and what you do with it is your decision and no one else's.
And if Susie the girl thinks that Style Bubble is a nuisance and needs to be shut down, then I'd support you in that because you have to do what you think is best, and we'd feel horrible if the blog was causing you problems.

[All Pretty Things]

well, if she is fine, that's al I needed to know. No blogging obligations, I will miss Style Bytes though. Funny how I worried about someone I don't know but saw every day nonetheless...are we (am I) crazy? I wonder...

[d]

the polite thing to do is leave a message.

It's common politeness. Basic politeness.

[EmilyL]

Too bad that she's taken the site down.. I should have saved some favorite pictures up.. And if you'd gone missing, I think the blogosphere will be going crazy... including me =)

[Drusilla]

D: blogs shut down all the time with no clear message saying 'shutting down from now'. She probably didn't want what we're doing now (ie floods of people howling about it, which would be what happened if she'd left a message), so I can respect her choice.

[lady coveted]

do you think maybe she was asking for it? i mean, just to disappear... people are going to start looking for you, particularly if you are a high profile person.

as much as i respect her decision to stop blogging, i feel a bit betrayed by the way she did it. a short post saying she's going to take a break, or sick of blogging would have been easy to do, no questions asked.

i really loved style bytes, and i will miss it dearly.

[d]

i agree with lady coveted. it's blogging etiquette. you start a blog to have readers or else there's no point in making a blog public.

so basically, she should have informed her readers who read the blog, constantly comment on how wonderful she is etc etc etc

it's the most respectful thing to do.

you don't ''break up'' (and i mean that as an example, and not literally) with someone by just disappering.

[pretty face]

I haven't commented or posted about this at all since yesterday - silently hoping it was just a hiatus! but now I'm really curious and wondering if any of the bloggers with their own domains know the answer...

Does a message like that mean the site was actively removed by the owner, or does that error message also come up if they just stop paying?

[kirsty lee]

i miss reading style bytes, but totally agree with you. i think we have to remember that agathe doesn't owe us anything. she must have her reasons for cutting off the blog in this abrupt way.

while we'll all miss reading her blog and will inevitably worry about her, i don't think we should complain that she didn't leave a note. she obviously has stuff going on and though it was best this way. the real world is way more important that the blog world, however big and successful your blog may be.

[winnie]

It's a shame she didn't leave a message as otherwise she might have avoided all these messages asking after her. However you're right, she has every right not to leave a message but it doesn't help our feelings of being left in the lurch with no explanation. I'll miss her blog, but I would most certainly miss yours even more, if you were to disappear too! (Though I'm sure it would be for good reason and we would all support your decision!)

[missmilki]

Ah its a pity Agathe's stopped blogging but you're dead right Susie she doesn't owe us anything. I think that often people start blogging for fun then it becomes an obligation. It shouldn't be something you feel you have to do (well unless its your job or something!) if its just a hobby you should enjoy it. No obligations!

If you happen to read this Agathe thanks for all the fabulous inspiration you have given us...we'll miss you!

And Susie if you ever disappeared for a month I'm pretty sure there'd be search parties out for you too!!! ;)

"I do silently ponder if I ever went AWOL for a month, what would happen but I'm guessing it wouldn't get to this stage of online social network hunting madness that's going on..."

I don't know why you have to say this even though you KNOW your blog is AT LEAST as popular as hers?? Why do you always have to downplay yourself? To seek confirmation?

[susie_bubble]

No anon, it's not about seeking confirmation... i do think Agathe's pase is particular to her because her photographs are so alluring and her text quite minimal.... very different to my blog.... people searching her out in the way that they are is very hard to imagine if I were to disappear for a bit....
It's not downplaying but merely stating the fact that my blog is quite different in its presentation and approach from Agathe's....

[lady coveted]

i think your blog is more "popular" than stylebytes, not that it's any competition. and you are much more involved with the blogging community and the fashion world, so if you were to disappear, there would most certainly be search parties.

after all, that's what communities are about, looking after each other... i mean, what if something actually DID happen?

[Connie]

May be something stalkerish happened while she was in Stockholm. Too many people recgonized her? Having such a popular blog is no less like celebrities, and I bet she encountered a lot of people whom may have asked her too many personal questions and made her realize her life was much more public than she would have liked....

I do love her blog.

Susie - please PLEASE don't ever stop bloggin. I read this religiously, and I love how you play with your clothes with all these random stuff (ie hair clip) and make them look so nice and wearable!!!!!!

[The Clothes Horse]

Ah, Agathe will be missed. Maybe she will reincarnate with a new blog...? Anayway, I dearly hope you never shut yours down--but if you did (and please don't!) an explanation would be necessary to put my mind at rest. Already my thoughts are running about Agathe, doesn't she enjoy taking pictures? What about her photogenic pig???

[Mouse]

Not sure if this has already been found but I came across this with google..

http://www.websiteoutlook.com/www.stylebytes.net

Apparently Agathes blog had an estimated worth of $22498.6 USD?

Just to go back to what Lady Coveted posted about, perhaps it is possible that her blog was hacked? I mean, that's a lot of money. But then that still doesn't explain why she's not replying to her facebook messages etc? Not to add fuel to the fire but.. perhaps it's quite serious and she's not allowed to talk about it?

Mouse

[Danielle]

You're right Susie... when the popular blogs do go there is always a hue and cry, and it makes it more difficult for the bloggers who are already making a difficult decision.

The archives of Agathe's blog will be sorely missed... her style is an inspiration. Its sad, but its ok to let go, there are many more voices in fashion blogland and times do change. Thanks for posting this.

[ms. spinach]

if you disappeared, i just might have to fly to london and suss you out and make sure everything was okay!

but hear you on the "letting go" -- have amended my post and will now move on...

[Alli]

I just opened up my "Fashion Inspiration" folder on my desktop and, apart from the "Style Bubble" folder, my "Style Bytes" folder is the biggest one in there!

I'm definitely bummed that Agathe has chosen not to blog any more but, like everyone else is saying, it's her choice and we have to respect that. However, as somebody who was invested in SB.net for over a year, just a simple "Hey guys, blogging isn't for me, peace out" message would have been nice because for every one dissenter who posted a mean comment, there were hundreds (thousands?) of people who looked to her for fashion inspiration and loved hearing what she had to say.

Oh, and if you disappeared I think the search would be just as frantic though probably shorter lived, if only because you live in London and okay-ness would be confirmed quicker, haha.

[All Pretty Things]

Someone once told me that we (bloggers) are putting ourselves out there and people can 'know too much' about us. Some of us have even suffered horrible commenters, etc...I hope this is really not Agathe's case, but the sudden 'shut down' might have been 'necessary'. Or, maybe she is laughing at us all worried and suspicious, drinking champagne and enjoying the fame! ;-)
Selfishly, I wish I had saved some of her photos...:-(

[enc]

I'm glad to know she's alive and well. That's good enough for me.

[CitizenB]

I think its just human nature to be worried about someone if they just disappear with no explanation when previously you have had contact with them regularly (via whatever means)

The internet makes this situation more complicated because while you can read about and interact with someone daily, to the extent where you feel you know them a little bit - but, in reality, you don't know them at all, and other than via computer have no means of contacting them. So a sudden absence leaves a gap, and questions that can't be answered, and then a feeling of uncertainty... and people care far more than you would think - even about random strangers on the internet.

I found this out myself, a few years ago - when I used to post regularly on a forum, and then suddenly work got crazy busy and I had no time so I didn't visit the forum for ages and fell out of the habit of reading it. When I went back months later to look something up, I was astonished to see a dedicated thread with about 20 pages of posts concerning my whereabouts, with the other regular posters expressing concern as to what had happened to me, they had gone to quite some lengths to track me down and check up that I was OK. It was very touching but also I felt so bad that I had worried them, and posted to apologise and reassure them I was fine - and was then flooded with response messages of relief that I was OK. And this was only a small forum.

So if a popular blog suddenly stops being updated with no explanation, its highly likely that people will genuinely worry, and keep checking back for months afterwards for any update. Keeping up a regular blog is a lot of work and its totally reasonable that people decide to stop, but if possible it does help to give some reason, because it stops regular readers from fussing. The blog 'Faking Good Breeding' was a great example of how to bow out - http://fakinggoodbreeding.blogspot.com/

Accuse me of fussing all you like, but I have been checking Style Bytes every day since the Stockhom post and personally I am still not reassured that Agathe is OK, and do feel a sense of uncertainty. But I also accept I have to let go, as there is nothing I can really do about it. Ho hum.

[Natty]

Its such as shame that the blog is now offline - I enjoyed reading and looking at her piccies - it was real inspiration. I am hoping she will start up a new incarnation of Style Bytes sometime in the future!

[selina]

thsi frenzy has said so much about how the blogging world is totally that- a whole world! this is the most talked about thing and is on everyone's mind, if we had news it would be a major ongoing hunt! i can't help feeling let down that she didn't bow out and say goodbye. she obviously sends out so much effort we and just have to read it, but i know i would feel loyal to my readers as they get you to where you are and almost share your happy and sad moments in a way that even friends and family may not understand? these comments have been an interesting read, maybe the girl above has a great point, that in stockholm she realised just how popular she was getting? i truly hope she is ok, it's weird that she's stopped reading blogs as well as writing her own or else she would have replied? it's a blow for the blogging world

[dion]

I miss her so much.Seeing her website closed today, I felt so sad.
But,your blog must go on.Please, don't leave us alone.

[punky]

Those are going to be some tough vintage shoes to fill.

[WendyB]

She can do whatever she wants, but it would have been thoughtful to say something to SOMEONE via blog or email just so people wouldn't worry about her. There's a lot of nasty people online but there are caring ones too, and why not reassure the people who care? I wish her good luck though.

[WendyB]

P.S. as to what someone said earlier on, it's possible to post a message and not allow comments, so she wouldn't have had to be flooded with "don't go" comments if she wanted to be polite and leave a good-bye message.

[Fruchtzwerg]

sad to hear that she's not blogging anymore but she's surely having her reasons for that decision but at least she's doing fine so far.

[Ash]

Count me in as also having been worried/checking every day until the blog went offline group. After seeing the link to her old blog from 2003 that someone posted on The Coveted, it seems to make a little more sense-- if you can call it that.

http://www.geocities.com/caiproska/moi

Last entry in the journal section-- "Be patient! :) In a few days I will be back on the net!" Some people are weird about saying goodbye, "breaking up", whatever. I've seen people pull comparable disappearing acts in real life. Like most others, I think this could have been handled better to prevent this huge outpouring of worry over her, but I wish her, her husband, and Molvin well.

[aziza x]

People would freak out so much if you were gone.

[x]

i find it hightly disturbing that some bloggers go on and bother her husband with dozens of messages, stalk her around her house to find out "if she's okay" or rather to have an exciting post on their blog. you're absolutely right about it being her choice, and she has the right to not give any explanation.

[Vanessa]

she is on phiary . http://phiary.com/profile/agathe

[Lady Smaggle]

I'm upset that she is gone. Checking her blog was part of my daily routine and coffee just isn't that same without her anymore. It's a shame because her blog really was fantastic and I'm gutted that I can't even go through the archives anymore. I wish her and her little family well and I hope she simply got bored of blogging and that it wasn't anything more serious than that...

[yulanda]

Yours was the very first fashion/style blog I started reading and I'm glad you don't plan to go away anytime soon. I miss Style Bytes and she has ever right to shut down her blog, but I also agree with the comments about saying something -- to anyone -- because there were a lot of readers who cared.

[Fashion Tidbits]

i so need a mental prep if you ever decide to stop! please, please!!!!

as for Agathe, if she did stop, she will be sorely missed.

[Allyson]

While I agree that Agathe doesn't "owe" anything to anyone, I have to agree with Lady Coveted and say that it seems a bit unfair to just shut down the site with no warning, especially since her last post said she was off to Stockholm and she'd be back soon. I think a lot of the outpouring of concern was not only because everyone liked her posts, but because after reading someone's blog often you do begin to care about them as a person -- I know I for one was genuinely concerned about her safety.

The whole situation strikes me as really strange because it really seems like it was planned out to garner publicity, which seems very un-Agathe. I will really miss her blog.

[Renee]

I will miss Agathe so very much! I still feel I need closure but I guess I just have to accept it's over! Style Bytes was like my daily newspaper and her style was an inspiration to me! So glad I still have you Susie to turn to for my fashion fix! xxx

[Eva]

Susie, if you ever disappear for a month, without any notice, I will be taking a flight to London to track you down and to put you behind your computer again! No but seriously, I really miss Stylebytes! I really do hope we'll hear from her again someday.

[raq]

i guess we all feel this closeness to Agathe though most of us have never met her before... by reading a blog, you get to know not only her personal taste, but her character too... so i guess for many of us, we miss her first and foremost as a person and then her style... well i know for sure i'll miss her really badly as i have been read her blog religiously too...

susie if you ever wish to stop posting, please promise us you'll never just leave us hanging alright!

[Gia'da @ ViaPoetica.com]

I once read somewhere, in a psychology magazine, that the reason we subconsciously think we know people we see in the media every day, is because our primal / emotional brain (yes we all have one ^^) doesn't understand that you can see someone without actually knowing them. Back in the day, when our ancestors were walking around in their bearskins and life and death depended on the ruling of tribes, you didn't have time to figure out if they were ok or not. You either knew them because they were in your tribe and if you didn't know them, you'd better kill or be killed.

Maybe it's like that, we subconsciously think she's part of our tribe, the fashiontribe ;-) .

I think it's pretty sad people are stalking her and her husband, but then again, in a sick way, it's the greatest compliment you could ever give her blog. I miss her blog, but I'm not a Stan, nor will I ever be.

I find it really difficult to judge the fact that she left without leaving a message. On the one hand I think that it would have been polite to do so. On the other hand I think, that if a situation overwhelmed her, it would be completely understandable.

I wish her well :-).

[Lisel]

maybe she still will come back? I remeber a year or a year and a half ago, stylebytes was also offline for a while (serverthings if I right), and she comes back saying that she so have missed her blog and even couldn't sleep thinking of it, so I find it really strange she could cut things of like this.. maybe all this people (s)talking about her scared her a little bit? I think it's really anoying for her and her husband.. but on the other hand if she had post a goodbye note.. well..
I also miss her though!

[Nightingale]

I think it sucks that her blog is gone, but as you say its her choice...I'm not too sure she's been stalked though...what does everyone here put in the word stalk? If you refer to the people who has seen her and her husband around oslo etc I guess they're Oslo people, like me who get around Oslo on a daily basis and just happened to see her around, oslo is a quiet small city I think...

[Japke]

Don't ever leave us! If you do I'm sure we will go huntig for you if you don't say goodbye. I love your blog, the same as I did Style Bytes, and I would never survive if you also quit!

[Lily]

I don't agree about the "stalinkg" bits. If someone writes on blogs or sites they must expect people to search for traces on the web. Especially if a popular blogger like Agathe just disappears - we were worried about her as a PERSON so it's normal to look for signs from her on the net. We don't know her well but we know a part of her she shared with us anyway.

Yes, just a word from her would have been POLITE. She doesn't have to explain her motivations but leaving a comment somewhere like "I'm fine, guys"?!...